Entry 43

My dreams and nightmares wake me up throughout the night lately. For some reason they are forgotten by the time I am fully awake. I assume most are nightmares. I usually bolt up in a panic. The lack of sleep is making it hard to accomplish anything.

Knowing how valuable it could be I tried to brave apartment 207 to get the shotgun. Before I even reached the smell became unbearable. I could not bring myself to go any further towards that wretched stench I have finally washed off of my skin.

Instead of going into the apartment I sat down on the walkway and looked out over the city. It had been awhile since I had carefully watched. As I was sitting down I already spotted something worthy of note. There was a plume of black smoke rising from over the horizon. It was much too far away to really know if the smoke was even coming from within the city limits or not. But it must have been a large fire to be visible from so far away. Even with the light breeze blowing the smoke had formed a rather large plume. Perhaps some warehouse or residence had caught from bad wiring. Without a fire department it will simply burn until it runs out of building to burn. The worst part is that every time another building burns there are fewer supplies out there.

Today, I realized that at some point I will not be able to find enough unspoiled food to live. I will need to figure out how to make a garden or something someday. It is probably too late for this year; the breeze already has a hint of the fall chill.

After lunch I resumed my spot on the walkway. As I watched the plume of smoke, I found my mind wandering beyond the day to day thoughts of survival. I cannot help but wonder, is this man's second chance? Did we unleash this on ourselves and bring humankind to its knees? Is it a chance to begin anew and fix the mistakes we once made? Or like the city, will we, the last of humanity, collapse and be forgotten? Has nature decided it is our time to go, or have we brought about our own extinction?