Entry 41

I will be haunted by yesterday until the day I die. The haze that surrounded yesterday faded as I slept. The smells and sights seemed more real in my dreams than they were in the day. What is worse is realizing someone else survived, only to kill themselves. I would not be alone if she had not killed herself.

I understand wanting to just save yourself from the fear and the horrors which are out there every day. I do not understand how you could just give up. I have gone too far to give up. I have already suffered too much trying to survive to give up now. I will be damned if I do the work of whatever horrible thing has destroyed everyone I knew and loved.

I survived whatever turned people into zombies. The man who was running through the streets did as well. Now, the lady in 207 had likely been immune. That means quite a few people were not affected by whatever disease, virus, or weapon it was. I wonder how many survived the infection only to be killed by those who became zombies. More importantly, I wonder how many survived both.

I have started to consider some sort of signal or sign to try and alert people that I am here. My fear though is how friendly those people are. In every other disaster many who survived rioted and looted those who had not and even others who had. Is this disaster big enough to stop people from being... people?

I want so badly to not be alone anymore, yet I find myself more afraid to find another person every day. I think I will wait till I have gone through all the apartments. I may be safe from zombies, but I think I need to make myself safe from people before I reach out and try to find them.