Entry 45

The electricity is out. It has been ten hours since it went off and it has not so much as flickered. I want to panic and curl into a ball and cry at the same time. I just am not ready to try to live without power.

I still had quite a bit of frozen food. I went through all the freezers in the apartments I have opened and packed my freezer and with bags of ice cubes. Hopefully it gives me a couple more days for the food to last.

What do I do now? Even if I go through all the apartments in my building it will not last me very long with all the food ruined in the freezers. Up till now I always took for granted that I would have food and somehow I would find more. Now, I cannot stop thinking about what it is like to starve to death. Plus, if the electricity is out, how long till I lose water pressure? I cleaned out all the tubs and sinks with a bit of bleach and then filled them all with water. I also went through and took every jar and jug I could find in all the kitchens and filled those with water. My kitchen cabinets and counter are now full of water containers. I have no idea how much water it is or how long it will last, but it is better than nothing.

The end of my day was not much better. It was already getting too dark to write inside the apartment so I went out to the walkway. I noticed the black smoke looked bigger and closer. If the fire makes it to me, even if my apartment building doesn't burn down, it will still end up killing me because all the food will be destroyed.

I wonder if the fire burned up the electrical station, is it merely a coincidence that after all this time it finally goes out when there is a fire? I knew this day was coming; eventually the power would go out. I really needed just a little longer before I was ready for the lights to go out.