Entry 13

After another fruitless evening trying to open the safe last night, I finally gave up and went to bed. I have been sleeping much better since I put up the wood barricades, which has helped me think a bit clearer and made me much less tired throughout the day. A couple more days and I might have most of my energy back, which is good as sitting in my apartment trying to open the safe is starting to make me feel uneasy, like I should be doing something more.

When I finally got up this morning and started the day, I noticed I have developed daily routines since being cooped up in my apartment. I start in the mornings by getting my spear, opening up my bedroom door, making sure none of them got into my apartment, and ensuring my barricades are all intact and untouched. Then, I remove the door brace in the neighbor's bathroom and ensure the other apartment is empty and the barricades are intact. Once I see everything is safe I put the spear in its spot next to my bedroom door. Next, I tidy up anything left from the night before like dishes I left out to dry. Once any cleaning is done I make sure all the tools are still organized and check the refrigerator is still working and check to see if any food has spoiled.

I have organized and re-organized the tools enough I know where every tool is. In the kitchen I have all the non-refrigerated food in one cabinet next to the fridge. Inside the fridge I organized the food from top to bottom with the closest to expiring on the bottom. Keeping everything organized seems to help me feel a little bit more in control. Everything outside my apartment is so chaotic and hellish, inside is the only place where things make sense anymore. One side effect of all the organizing is I know where everything is and exactly what I have to work with. In the back of my mind I worry, knowing my supplies will run out and I still only have the saw-spear as a weapon.

Food is not a dire issue as of yet but already my supply is starting to dwindle. Even eating mostly the refrigerated and perishable stuff first, more has gone bad than I had hoped. It seems like more spoils than I eat. When that is gone, there is only a few days worth of non-perishable and frozen foods left. I have to start thinking about where to go next for food.

Only having the spear is also a problem. It is much better than nothing but still means I have to be rather close. It is so frustrating knowing I have a handgun in this stupid safe but not being able to get to it. I have spent so much time trying to pick the lock yet I have nothing to show for it. I am tempted to try to beat the safe apart with a hammer but it feels very durable. I know picking the lock should be possible and trying to break the safe apart could damage the lock and make it so I could never open it or damage the gun. I wish I could just search " lockpicking" online or even go the library and find a book.

I am getting a bit better with the lock. Today for a moment I got the third pin to lock into place. My hand had gotten tired and I was not putting as much pressure on the lock as I usually do. It made me wonder if trying to turn the cylinder as hard as I could is not the right way to go about picking a lock. I still have not been able to get the third pin into place again so perhaps it was just a fluke. It has been all I can do to not resort to the hammer or throwing the safe around the room hoping it would break apart. I just hope I am not wasting my time trying to open this lock and overlooking something more important.